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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514579">Where Pleasure Kisses Pain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatescape00/pseuds/thegreatescape00'>thegreatescape00</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Call Girl, Cheating, Divorce, Escort, F/F, alternative universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,061</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29514579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatescape00/pseuds/thegreatescape00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"The vibe was quiet and calm not until her heart race rapidly because of what she’s seeing. Her wife, sitting next to her “client”, holding hands, cuddling and laughing with one of her wife's jokes that she used to tell Mina before, looking satisfied and contented."</p><p>Or</p><p>Mina finds out her wife cheating on her or Nayeon getting cheated on by Mina.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hirai Momo/Myoui Mina, Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Where Pleasure Kisses Pain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mina wakes up to the sunlight directing to her face. She crouches a little bit and felt the coldness of the other side of the bed. Her head is aching so much and she feels like throwing up while feeling her whole room rotating.</p><p> </p><p>The sudden memory of what happened last night resurfaced and she remembers that she forgot to close her blinds and even forgot to change her work clothes that stink from the alcohol she consumed. She tries to open her eyes but failed when the sun struck her. Mina sighs and reaches out for her phone to check if she's late for her morning meeting today at 9 am with one of the possible business partners.</p><p> </p><p>Time check: 6:45 am.</p><p> </p><p>She still has time to prepare. <em>Thank God.</em> It will just bring no good if she appears late at the meeting and worse, a walking dead.</p><p> </p><p>Mina groaned just by the thought of attending it without much sleep. Drinking so much alcohol when you have a morning meeting the next day isn’t a great idea after all. She grudgingly jumped out of her bed and looked back at it again, then let out a defeated sigh before heading to the bathroom to prepare herself.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Everyone’s eyes are on her while she’s walking in her white trouser, high ponytail and her head held high as if she didn’t almost meet Lucifer last night. Loud whispers are very audible and Mina just wishes she can tape everyone’s mouth so that they can shut up about it. Officials bow their heads at her and she finds her way to the center sit in the meeting room. After some time, the meeting started and <em>Professional Mina</em> was also on.</p><p> </p><p>Her day was almost done when her secretary knocks and let herself in announcing that she has still one meeting left with Mr. and Mrs. <em>Hirai</em>. Mina looks up at her secretary with a confused face as if she doesn’t remember any scheduled meeting with her <em>in-laws.</em> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, your <em>wife</em> scheduled it, Ma’am. She’s expecting you at 6 pm at this restaurant.” Her secretary hands the address to her and when she checked the time, it’s already 5:30 pm. Mina quickly grabs everything she needs and instructs her secretary to call her driver as soon as possible.</p><p> </p><p>While on her way, Mina can’t avoid being tensed up. She’s not meeting her in-laws for the first time. Not when she knew them ever since she was a child.</p><p> </p><p>Not when they let her marry their daughter.</p><p> </p><p>Not when Momo and Mina are married for 10 years already.</p><p> </p><p>But today is different.</p><p> </p><p>Just the thought of her and Momo pretending like everything is fine in front of her in-laws who have been good to her all these years, doesn’t sit right with her. She thought of messaging Momo first before she arrives at the restaurant but gave up at the thought and just calmed herself down.</p><p> </p><p>She arrives at the restaurant and the first thing that got her attention is the ring Momo’s wearing right now. She doesn’t even remember when was the last time her wife wore that. She clenched her fist and walk straight to the comfort room. She feels like throwing up right now. But not because of any alcohol, but because of how sober she is that everything is coming back to her. <em>This is not the right place to break down, ‘cmon Mina. You’re stronger than this.</em> Mina convinces herself while staring at her reflection in the mirror. She exhales deeply and pulls herself together before walking out of the comfort room. Mina managed to smile at her in-laws and hug them tightly.</p><p> </p><p>Exchanging their how are you’s and more compliments to each other. She now turns to Momo who is smiling at her like everything is <em>okay</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Like everything is<em> normal</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She kisses Momo’s cheeks and felt the girl flinched a little, but managed to compose herself to avoid dubious eyes from her parents.</p><p> </p><p>The dinner was a bit comfortable to her surprise. As if everything was back to its normal state again. Laughing with Momo as if they have shared the bed last night, or ate breakfast yesterday. Momo holding her hands as if they still make love to each other every night. And Momo, kissing her goodbye as if she still has feelings for her. As if she is still the one Momo wants to wake up every morning with.</p><p> </p><p>Mina bid her goodbye to Momo’s parents and made an excuse that she still has an errand to run in the office since an emergency came through to avoid the questioning from her in-laws on why aren’t they going home together. She isn’t ready to answer that question and obviously, Momo too. After leaving the restaurant, Mina feels so lost and drained. Like all of her energy that is reserve for tomorrow was already used and she doesn’t know where to go. She doesn’t want to go home because it makes her feel more empty.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Empty</em>.</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>No one to go home to</em>.</p><p> </p><p>She finds herself walking in a club full of wild and dancing people. Mina isn’t fond of this environment. She’s rarely out with her friends, but she thought of nothing else. She wants to be wasted tonight.</p><p> </p><p>She wants to forget everything that came back a while ago when she saw how the ring still fits into Momo’s fingers.She wants to forget the perfume Momo wears every time they will go on date nights. She wants to forget how Momo held her hand when she’s having her panic attacks in front of many people.</p><p> </p><p>She wants to forget how Momo, suddenly woke up and decided to unlove her. She wants to forget Momo.</p><p> </p><p>Because Momo has forgotten everything about her.</p><p> </p><p>Mina sat at the corner where fewer people are present. Gently shaking a vodka on her hands while staring at the people living their best lives, memories are slowly hitting her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>One year ago.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Mina went to the market to buy some ingredients for the food she will be cooking today. It’s their 9</em>
  <em>
    <sup>th</sup>
  </em>
  <em> anniversary and she wants to cook something that Momo will surely enjoy. Her wife can’t join her since she’s in a meeting with her client and she mentioned last week that this meeting was very important so Mina didn’t bother her. Having the groceries all by herself, she’s exhausted and wants a nice cup of coffee to relax her muscles so she stopped by at a small cafe five blocks away from the market. The cafe was small, and not that visible to many people if they wouldn’t take time to search for it. Her friend recommended it before to her that’s why she knew about it. She set foot into the cafe and slightly roam her eyes. The vibe was quiet and calm not until her heart race rapidly because of what she’s seeing. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Her wife, sitting next to her “client”, holding hands, cuddling and laughing with one of Momo’s jokes that she used to tell Mina before, looking satisfied and contented. She hasn’t seen Momo like this since their 8th wedding anniversary. She stared at them for god knows how many minutes until one of the cafe crew asked her what’s wrong because tears roll down her face without her knowing. She flinched a little and tried to calm herself but failed when Momo notices her. They stared at each other until Mina can’t take it anymore and she ran outside the cafe. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Tears falling, heart breaking into pieces. Momo attempted to run after her but Mina was so fast just like how Momo found her smile again. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>But with another person..</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The rush of her memories was cut by a blonde lady in her skimpy red dress with a cocktail on her hands. The lady sat in front of her and smile sweetly. Mina stares at her for a good 5 seconds wondering what’s her motive.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is she hitting on me? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina lifts her right hand on the table to subtly show her wedding ring. She isn’t comfortable being hit on by someone when she knows she’s still married. But the <em>lady in red</em> is so persistent that she just took Mina’s hand and gave a sticky look straight to her eyes. Mina jolts at the sudden move and the girl chuckles at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Uhm, Miss? I am not really down for this. As you can see, I am a married person.” Mina announces as she withdraws her hands and shows her ring finger letting the girl have a good sight on it. The lady raises her one eyebrow and didn’t give a damn about what she said. She drinks on her cocktail still giving Mina a sticky look and clears her throat when she’s done.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re not down for this, then why go to a gay club? Don’t tell me you found this place relaxing after a tiring day?” The lady smirks at her and attempts to hold Mina’s hand again but Mina was fast enough that she hurriedly lower down her hands.</p><p> </p><p><em>Why the fuck is she so aggressive?</em> </p><p> </p><p>“No, miss. I just- I-” Mina stutters as she herself doesn’t even know what was her reason for entering this club. She feels drained and this is not her way of getting her energy back. But going home to nothing makes her more feel drain than going to this place.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. I understand. Sorry for misreading the situation. But you look like you need  someone to talk to, I guess I’m perfect for that?” The lady smile at Mina sweetly. Different from the smile she gave a while ago. This looks more genuine and pure.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I- uh- I’m kinda tired and I really wanna rest but I don’t want to go home yet. And this is my first time in this kind of place. I usually drink alone and do other things alone.” Mina smiled bitterly. She needs to be used to doing things alone since the day Momo left the house. No, since Momo didn’t go home to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, married people don’t really go to places like this that is why I am very curious why are you here.” The lady sips on her cocktail and pans her eyes to the crowd who’s dancing right now. “But I will not ask any questions. Don’t worry.” then she looks back at Mina and gave her a small smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” Mina responds and looks down on her vodka.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess I’ll leave you here? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable again. But if you need someone to talk to, I know a place that can give you the best companion.” The lady pulled out a card and hand it to her. Mina, confused, took it and let out a deep sigh. She read what’s on the card and she furrows her eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Minatozaki Sana</em>
</p><p>
  <em>011- xxxx-xxxx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moon and Sun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Private Escort Agency</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina choked on her drink and looks back at the lady but she was already gone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What the- she just said that married people don’t go to places like this, then she’ll give me a card for an escort service?!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She just slid the card inside her coat still astonished about what had happened.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>Weeks went by like days to Mina. She barely gets a nice sleep, a delicious dinner, and a well-prepared breakfast for almost God knows when was the last time she had one. Today, she’s dragging herself to the kitchen to have some cereals before the annual meeting of the board members. Being a CEO and a cheated-on wife is something Mina wouldn’t recommend to someone. It’s hard she’s not gonna lie. Waking up every day for the first 3 months since it happened was the worst for her. Going to the office was the biggest distress in her life. Hearing everyone gossip about the CEO and her cheater wife as if everyone knows what was going on between her and Momo when in fact, even her, doesn’t know what the hell happened.</p><p> </p><p>Her thoughts were interrupted by a call and when she looked at her phone, it’s Jihyo. Her college best friend and the one who she envies the most. Jihyo is also married to one of her friends, Jeongyeon for almost 8 years now. When she and Momo got married, 2 years later, Jihyo and Jeongyeon decided to step up their relationship too. But unlike Mina and Momo, Jeongyeon and Jihyo still cherish and appreciate each other just like they did way back.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey, Myoui, what’s up</em>?” Jihyo casually greets her as if she doesn’t know this is Jihyo’s way of checking her if she’s doing okay.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Park. Nothing new. Just eating breakfast and will prepare for the annual board meeting. Why? Are you bored with Jeongyeon that’s why you’re pestering me early in the morning?” Calling each other by their real surname even when the two of them are already married was accustomed since they were in college.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>And by breakfast you mean, cereals? ‘cmon Myoui, can’t you prepare something more suitable food for a 35-year-old grown woman like you?</em>” Jihyo ignored the banter she made towards Jeongyeon and proceeds on scolding her just what her real motive is for calling her this early.</p><p> </p><p>“I can. I just don’t like preparing something for an hour then eat it like for what, 5 minutes? Waste of time. And this cereal is healthy so you can relax and maybe get laid? You sound like my mom, geez.” Mina just throws another quip to lighten up the mood because she knows where this is going.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Alright, alright. Call me when you’re free. Let us take you out for a nice dinner and catch up on some things, m’kay? Take care of yourself, Myoui</em>.” Jihyo gave up and just uttered the word with a genuine concern prominent in her voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t wanna be the third wheel but, okay mom. Thanks, Park. Love you.” Mina ends the call and prepares herself for the meeting.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>Every second of the meeting screams a headache. Mina has been sleep-deprived, stressed, and now dealing with the worst headache as if my chemical romance is playing inside her head. She just got out of the meeting room and walk straight to her office.</p><p> </p><p>She requests a coffee from her secretary so that her head will calm for a bit then remember that the only food she ate today was the cereal from her breakfast. It is already 4:30 pm that’s why her whole world was rotating maybe because of hunger. She checked her schedule for today to see if she will be available tonight since she wants to invite Jihyo and Jeongyeon to dinner that Jihyo mentioned a while ago.</p><p> </p><p>While she’s searching for her phone from the pockets of her coat, she fondled something like paper inside. Mina pulls it out and saw a calling card that seems so familiar.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Minatozaki Sana</em>
</p><p>
  <em>011- xxxx-xxxx</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moon and Sun</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Private Escort Agency</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina recalls the exact scene when the lady handed it to her weeks ago. She thinks about calling it but can’t find the reason why should she? So she just puts it back and calls Jihyo to ask them out for dinner.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey, what’s up? You good?</em>” Jihyo fires her question as soon as she answered the call.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, just having a terrible headache. Anyway, are you and Jeongyeon free tonight? I guess we can have the dinner you mentioned a while ago.” Mina speaks while her secretary hands her the coffee she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh, Myoui. I’m afraid we can’t. Jeongyeon’s parents invited us over and we’ll be having dinner together. What about tomorrow?</em>” Jihyo apologetically replied and Mina holds back her sigh to avoid making Jihyo feel bad.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay, Park, enjoy and say my regards to Jeongyeon. And please tell her to stop sending me cat memes at 6 in the morning.</em>” Mina retorts and ends the call then proceeds on drinking her coffee.</p><p> </p><p>She’s hungry, lonely, tired, stressed, and cheated-on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What more can she feel as of the moment?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina finds herself staring at the card that was given to her at the club. She’s contemplating on whether she uses this opportunity of loneliness to try something new or just eat dinner alone, do all the things she wants to do alone, and who knows, maybe die alone too.</p><p> </p><p>Her attention shifts to her wedding ring. It has been a year already but Mina can’t still answer her question on what is she doing to herself. She goes home to an empty house drunk, wakes up to an empty house hungover, leaves the empty house lonely.</p><p> </p><p>Why is she still wearing her wedding ring? For what? To deny the fact that her wife- <em>ex-wife</em>- well not legally because they are still married on paper, has found another girl to continue her life with while she’s here, stuck and can’t figure out what does she wants to do with her life.</p><p> </p><p>She let out a deep sigh and pull off her wedding ring then place it inside her bag. This is the very first time she’ll be taking this off ever since the incident. Taking out her phone while her hesitation flies away, Mina dialed the number that’s written on the card and ready to take all the consequences her decision will lead her to.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hello, Thank you for calling Moon and Sun, how can we help you</em>?” Mina gulps as she was shocked by the voice of the attendant. It sounds so cheerful that if she doesn’t know what kind of help they mean, she might think that this is just a normal customer service call.</p><p> </p><p>“I uh, I- a girl gave me this card. Can I talk to Ms. Minatozaki Sana?” Mina, searching for her words, finally able to reply to the attendant.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay, Ma’am. Kindly wait a minute please.</em>” Then the line was put on hold. Mina is very nervous that she keeps on fidgeting the dry skin of her fingers.</p><p> </p><p>What will she tell that Sana girl? She doesn’t need that kind of help. She just wants someone to talk to, someone to accompany her and have a nice dinner with her for once. What will other people say if they knew about this? What will Momo say about her once this spreads out? What will--</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hi there, lonely lady. My hunch was right. I knew you’d call me</em>.” Her worries were cut by a familiar bewitching voice.</p><p> </p><p>“uhm, hi, yeah I’m the lonely lady at the club where we met. I’m just curious about the companionship you offered last time. Is it still available?” Mina asks nervously. Afraid of what will happen next.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh, Darling, of course. Let me just get the different packages so that you can choose what promo fits your wants.</em>” Sana said teasing evident in her voice but maintains respect for the customer.</p><p> </p><p>“No! I mean uh- no, not that. I just want something simple like a room or something? Nothing special. Maybe a room is good.” Mina’s voice is trembling as she speaks and her palm is currently sweating so much.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Well, okay Ma’am. If that’s what’s the customer’s request, then we shall grant it, right?</em>” Sana uttered with a soft chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Thank you.” Mina replied then Sana put the call on hold.</p><p> </p><p>After a minute, Sana came back and gave her the hotel address that she and her <em>new company</em> will occupy.</p><p> </p><p>Mina can’t explain what she’s feeling right now. Can’t exactly put into words how she’s feeling as if she’s cheating on her wife with somebody else by trying something new. Can’t explain the feeling that some part of her wants this for herself. Wants to be freed by the fact that she and Momo will never be together again and there’s nothing she can do about it.</p><p> </p><p>She needs to move on, but is she doing it right?</p><p>-</p><p>Mina arrives at the hotel and went straight to the lobby to give the details Sana messaged her. She’s a bit hesitant about all of this and thought of backing out but washed it all away and convinced herself that she’s doing it for her.</p><p> </p><p>Not for anybody, just for her.</p><p> </p><p>She opens the door and was greeted by a room full of rose petals from the front door up to the bed with small candles around it in the shape of a heart. The scent extracts roses and honey that she suddenly remembers what happened 10 years ago.</p><p> </p><p>But Mina is unswervable. She’s adamant to give herself a chance to move on from her painful past. She wants to give herself a chance to start over again. It not yet too late, right? She can still redeem all the self-confidence that has been lost ever since Momo left her.</p><p> </p><p>Left her with nothing but a lonely home, their wedding ring, and years of memories.</p><p> </p><p>After staring at the set-up that Sana prepared for them, Mina pours herself a glass of wine and sat at the end of the bed, and wonders if the <em>person</em> that will be brought to her will be understanding enough to keep up with her situation. If <em>they</em> will understand Mina when she says she’s not down for anything except for good company.</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s constant worries were interrupted by the creaking sound of the door opening, showing a person- <em>a girl</em>, who’s wearing a very short red dress (<em>what’s with these girls and their red dress?)</em> with a devil headband and a short fake tail behind her.</p><p> </p><p>The girl stares at her while Mina holds back her laugh because <em>what the hell is she wearing? Is this a required outfit among the girls here?</em></p><p> </p><p>Mina examines every part of the girl’s outfit carefully, afraid that she might give a weird impression but the girl let out a soft <em>sexy</em> roar, and Mina didn’t hold back her laugh and the room was suddenly filled out with loud giggles.</p><p> </p><p>“What- What are you- what are you doing?” Mina asks in between her solid giggles while trying to look at the girl.</p><p> </p><p>“Getting my work done so I can go back home early and have a good rest?” The girl looks so serious and offended with her on top of her waist and Mina quickly fixed herself, afraid that she might unleash the <em>real devil</em> tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, yeah, right. I’m sorry. I was- I was just shocked I- I’m not really you know..” Mina stutters as she speaks to the girl who looks like she will eat her alive anytime.</p><p> </p><p>“Know what? Aren’t you here for pleasure? Didn’t you like my costume? I can change if you want I have some extra clothes.” The girl was about to storm off the room but Mina answers quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“NO! I mean, no it’s fine. It’s cute tho” She says while her eyes roam around the room. “Also, I am not here for pleasure. I don’t know if Sana mentioned it to you but, I’m just here for a companion? If that’s okay with you?” Mina asks the girl while she fidgets the end of her coat looking like a lost child asking for candy from a stranger.</p><p> </p><p>“Companion? What are you, a washout or something?” The girl scoffs at her and just stared at her waiting for Mina to answer the question.</p><p> </p><p>Mina doesn’t know what to say. Is the reason why she’s here is that she’s a washout? Asking a stranger just to accompany her and have a nice dinner sounds like a very washout person to her. Mina feels humiliated because of a single question.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t even realize that she’s shedding tears.</p><p> </p><p>She looks straight at the girl’s eyes and the girl panics as she doesn’t know what to do or what did she say that make Mina cry like this.</p><p> </p><p>“I- I’m sorry. Are you okay? I didn’t mean it that way I was- I was just kidding maybe that was a bad joke I’m sorry ma’am.” The girl stops moving from her place and holds Mina’s hand then caressed it gently as if she’s holding a fragile glass that’ll break any time she held it hard.</p><p> </p><p>Mina, still not realizing that she just broke down in front of her temporary companion, looks down to their hands that were held by the girl and she looks back at the latter’s face with a confused and furrowed brows as if wondering why is she holding Mina’s hands?</p><p> </p><p>“Why-” Then the girl suddenly lets go of her hand that startles Mina and she just noticed the tears that are dropping on her forearms. That’s when it registered to her that she’s been crying that’s why the girl looked so worried.</p><p> </p><p>She mentally slapped herself and apologize to the girl for what happened. She reasoned-out that it has been a tiring week for her and she’s not that emotionally stable and that she’s here to have someone to talk to.</p><p> </p><p>“So you’re telling me that you asked an escort agency to take someone to dinner? In a hotel?” The girl asked confusedly while sipping from her wine.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not even the point of my story.” Mina sighs and continues to eat her first-ever nice dinner since- <em>since a year ago</em>? “And I didn’t search for an escort agency because of this. I met Sana at a club weeks ago and she tried to flirt with me but I kinda blew her off then she gave me this card, and actually this was my last resort. I just want to have someone to talk to you know like a normal person.” Mina said while showing the card that Sana gave her.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you have any friends? From work? From college? High school? Are you a lone wolf or something?” The girl shoots her question non-stop while obviously enjoying her food.</p><p> </p><p>“I have. But I don’t have too much. Just an exact amount of friends. But they’re kinda busy and I can’t just take them to dinner without considering their schedules or something.” Mina casually talks to the girl assuming she’s much younger than her based on the appearance she has.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay. That’s admissible. Anyway, would you mind if I ask how old are you? You look young so I assume I can drop the honorifics and just talk to you casually.” The girl shrugs her shoulder and gave Mina a polite smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take that as a compliment but I’m turning 35 this year.” Mina gave her a small smile after answering the question and the girl suddenly chokes on her drink. Mina helps her clean the small stains on the table that was caused by the wine she’s drinking.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re 35?! How come you have great skin than mine?! That’s unfair!” The latter protests as if Mina can do anything about it. Mina laughs at the girl who’s currently left in awe by the fact that Mina is a 35 year-old-drop-dead-gorgeous woman.</p><p> </p><p>“How about you? I’m sure you’re younger than me.” Mina returns the question and she saw how the girl became hesitant on disclosing her age. “OH MY GO- ARE YOU A MINOR!?” Mina exclaimed at the girl who was also shocked by her voice.</p><p> </p><p>“What- NO! Oh my god no! What would be a minor doing here?! This escort agency doesn’t accept minors. I’m turning 30 this year and I think this will be my last year working here too.” The girl said, sadness apparent on her while she looks down and avoids Mina’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you’re 5 years younger than me. Are you okay with this? Am I making you feel uncomfortable? You can go if you want I won’t mind.” She didn’t even consider the age of the person that will be brought to her when she decided to call this agency. Five years age gap is nothing to Mina but she doesn’t know about the girl thought of her.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you joking? This is literally my job.” The girl scoffs at her. “And besides, you’re the first one who asked me out to dinner while I am working. I usually, you know, give another kind of pleasure to other customers.” Then loses her confidence while uttering those words.</p><p> </p><p>“Really? Then can I ask you out to dinner every night instead?” Mina asks her question with a sweet smile on her face. There’s just something about this girl that makes her mood so light and happy even though she doesn’t know the reason.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you can afford my rate, why not? I’m kinda expensive, you know.” The girl winks at her and has the last sip on her wine.</p><p> </p><p>Mina chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I can afford you,?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon. And you’re?” Nayeon replies extending her hands to Mina.</p><p> </p><p>She holds on to her hand and gives it a shake. “Mina. Nice to meet you.”</p><p> </p><p> And they spent the night talking about things they found fun to talk about.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>That night, Mina didn’t go home drunk. Didn’t go home lonely. Didn’t felt the agonizing pain of an empty home.</p><p> </p><p>But instead, Mina smiled again after almost a year of unrelenting suffering that she experienced alone.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Mina wakes up with a light heart.</p><p> </p><p>Different from the other days that she just doesn’t want to wake up anymore every time the sun will strike her eyes. Different from the other days where she just wished not to be alive because she’ll need to live another day pretending that everything is alright.</p><p> </p><p>She stares at the ceiling for a minute thinking what’s the reason behind it. Then she remembered everything that happened last night.</p><p> </p><p>The way Nayeon has this comforting aura that emerges every time she’ll laugh at Mina’s old and corny jokes. The way she understood Mina’s awkwardness and initiated a topic every time they ran out of one so that they can talk about something. The way Nayeon smiled at her and politely turned down her offer to walk her home since it’s already late and Nayeon hugged her and thanked her for being so thoughtful.</p><p> </p><p>Mina didn’t imagine that after what happened to her and Momo, she’ll smile again like an idiot over dinner with a call girl.</p><p> </p><p>She knows that it is her job to make her feel okay. But there’s something Mina can’t explain why she felt so untroubled last night as if Nayeon was the answer to all of her questions in life.</p><p> </p><p>So Mina plans to invite her again over dinner. Just dinner. Nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>Or so she thought.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hello, thank you for calling Moon and Sun! How can we help you?”</em> She hears the cheerful voice on the other line.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, I’m calling for Ms. Minatozaki Sana?” Mina asks for Sana since she already knew what deal she’ll get. The other line gave it to Sana and Mina rolls her eyes the way she can feel the vile smirk coming out from the other girl.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hello, my love. So, you did like my gift last night, huh?</em>” Mina swears she can feel the venomous sneer from Sana and suddenly felt hesitant on asking Nayeon to be her companion again tonight.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, yeah. It’s not that bad-” She was cut by Sana’s loud grinning voice.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Really? I gave you my best girl so I’m kinda assuming that</em>.” Sana said with a proud laugh and Mina was bewildered about the remark.</p><p> </p><p>“What- No! That’s not what I meant! Oh my god, Ms. Minatozaki! I’ve said that I don’t want that kind of pleasure from someone. When I said it’s not that bad, I meant the dinner was fun!” Mina explains as she was startled by what Sana mentioned though she knows the girl was just mocking her.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Anyway, do you want the same girl?</em>” Sana asks her and just laughed at Mina’s explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“Can- can I-uh get the uh, same girl?” Mina stutters as she speaks because of the unnerving feeling that Sana might get it in the wrong way.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Of course, darling. I’ll prepare everything. Still, just dinner? No, you know, eating dessert or each other?</em>” Sana laughs at her own nasty joke and Mina wants to shrink or just disappear because she swears, Sana is really something.</p><p> </p><p>“No! Oh my god, why are you like this!” Mina expressed her displeasure and Sana cracks a solid laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Okay, honey. Same place and time, m’kay</em>?” Then Sana ends the call. Mina was left amazed at how Sana can be ridiculously annoying and helpful at the same time.</p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Why would you that to me, Mina?” Nayeon says as tears roll on her face and turned to Mina who’s dumbstruck about what just happened.</p><p> </p><p>“I- I didn’t know you’d react like this.” She reached for the tissue beside her and hands it over to Nayeon who crying her ass out.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon grabs the tissue and fixed herself while light sobs are still noticeable. “ I didn’t know you’d react like this.” She said mocking Mina’s response to her. “You just made me watch 50 First Dates without any heads up? You’re so mean Mina.”</p><p> </p><p>After their dinner, Mina asked Nayeon to watch a movie with her because she can’t think of any other thing to do that will suit Nayeon. She chose 50 First Dates just because she thought Nayeon will like it. She didn’t expect that half of the movie will be accompanied by sobs and a big pile of tissues.</p><p> </p><p>Mina laughs at Nayeon who’s now heading at the table to grab some food. “You did enjoy it though. Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon faced her with a bright smile. “Yes. I did. Thank you. It’s my first time watching a movie with someone, actually. I hope you enjoyed it too.”</p><p> </p><p>“I did. It’s nice to watch some movies with someone.” They gave each other a soft smile and Mina stands up to fix herself.</p><p> </p><p>After grabbing some food at the table, Nayeon walked to Mina who is now fixing her coat. Nayeon lends her a hand and fixed the hem of her coat. Mina stiffened at the sudden action and she can’t think straight because this is the first time someone who’s not Momo helped her fix herself.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Mina can’t explain the feeling inside of her. Can’t think what was the reason she’s so awkward when Nayeon patted her shoulder and mentioned that she looked good when her coat wasn’t wrinkled. Can’t think straight when Nayeon gave her this small but soft smile as if Nayeon can understand everything that was going on with her life.</p><p> </p><p>The comfortable aura brought by Nayeon makes her feel more alive than ever in her life since what happened to her. Mina built a wall, that’s for sure. She just wants to try something new for herself. She just wants to give herself the chance to move on and be happy again.</p><p> </p><p>On her own.</p><p> </p><p>And now, Mina is kinda anxious that she might be attached to Nayeon’s presence when she feels lonely and that can’t happen because- just because.</p><p> </p><p>So when Nayeon comes out of the bathroom, Mina wasn’t there. Instead, a note was left by.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Emergency. Got to go. I’m sorry. Thank you. Take care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- Mina</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks so puzzled.</p><p> </p><p>There wasn’t an emergency.</p><p> </p><p>Mina panicked.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>Mina’s day was beyond suffering.</p><p> </p><p>She woke up late and her phone didn’t charge so her alarm was out of use. She tried her best to ready herself as fast as possible, but her heater decided to act up so she can’t take a bath because who in their right mind will take a cold bath at 7:30 in the morning?</p><p> </p><p>After she fixed herself, she noticed that the back wheel of her car deflated and she just want to scream so loud right now because of the misfortunes early in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>Mina arrived at the company two hours late than her usual time with a very worn-out face. She was stuck in the traffic for about an hour without a good morning bath, a nice cereal breakfast, and her phone was out of battery.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as she sat in her office, her secretary offered her a coffee and Mina wants to hug her for doing that. But when her secretary was about to hand her down the coffee, it spilled all over Mina and her desk, resulting in a very soak Mina and her documents.</p><p> </p><p>Lunch came and Mina can’t find the energy to evacuate her office to get some food. She thought that this is not her lucky day and didn’t want to experience more bad luck because she had everything first thing in the morning. She opens the vault behind her where the private things of her were kept to check if she has an extra charger to use for her phone. Luckily, she had kept one for emergency purposes.</p><p> </p><p>She grabbed her charger and a card fell out of her hand.</p><p> </p><p>Mina hid Sana’s calling card in her office vault so she can avoid calling her to ask for Nayeon when she’s alone at home. Lonely and miserable.</p><p> </p><p>A month has passed since Mina called Sana to ask for Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p>A month since she smiled again and felt comfort from someone. A month since she slept with a smile on her face and woke up with a light heart.</p><p> </p><p>The past month was very unusual for Mina. She’s used to feeling bad about what happened to her and Momo every waking morning in her life since it happened. But every day since Mina stormed out of the room without any words except for the not-so-helpful note, Nayeon occupies her mind, her everyday thoughts, and messed with her feelings.</p><p> </p><p>Mina can’t find the courage to call for Nayeon. Or she just can’t find the courage to know the truth about what she felt that night. She’s also unsure about what happened and even asked herself if not seeing Nayeon will change that.</p><p> </p><p>Again, she stared at the card for too long until her secretary enters her office to bring her lunch. Mina, confused, stares at her secretary with a furrowed eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>“Mrs. Yoo, asked me to bring you a nice lunch, Ma’am. She said that you need to eat real food and stop eating greasy burgers and cereals for breakfast and lunch.” Her secretary bows and make her way outside Mina’s office.</p><p> </p><p>Mina mentally take note to call Jihyo later and thank her for the delicious meal in front of her.</p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Succeeded on gathering all the courage the world could offer, Mina, who’s now standing in front of the hotel room that Sana booked for them, stares and pray that Nayeon wouldn’t be mad for her sudden absence without saying anything.</p><p> </p><p>Opening the door slowly, Mina feels her palm soaked by nervous sweats. She peeks her head checking if Nayeon has arrived or did she arrive first. Luckily, Nayeon isn’t there yet so Mina gets inside with a relaxed sigh.</p><p> </p><p>Sana prepared a dinner for the two of them with a quite few bottles of wine. Mina shook her head thinking that Sana may know what happened and thought of giving them alcohol so the talk won’t be so awkward.</p><p> </p><p>Minutes have passed, Nayeon arrived with a surprised face not expecting that her customer will be her again.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon bows her head then gave her a soft smile before sitting in front of her at the table where they would eat.</p><p> </p><p>“So this explains why Sana doesn’t want me to dress up for something. Just casual clothes.” Nayeon lets out to steer the awkwardness away.</p><p> </p><p>Mina looked up at Nayeon. “Yes, I- I’m sorry. For-for not saying a proper goodbye to you last time.” She looks down again not able to look at Nayeon straight in the eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon laughs at her. “Why are you saying sorry? I’m used to that. I always woke up with a cold bed on the other side every time I’ll attend to someone.”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon's words stung a little. But Mina didn’t entertain what she felt. Instead, she just gave Nayeon an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I-I kinda had an emergency that time so.”</p><p> </p><p>“No worries.” Nayeon sweetly smiled at her and Mina swears her heart skip a little.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why does she smile like that?!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>After their dinner, Nayeon sat on the balcony of their room with a glass of wine in her hand. Mina noticed how stress Nayeon’s face looks and she kinda felt worried for the girl. She pours herself a glass of wine then walks straight to the balcony.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon moves to give her space and Mina sits down beside her. The air is cold but the warmth Nayeon gives just by sitting there beside Mina is enough for her to comfortable just by them sitting together and stare at the bareness of the city with the city lights giving them illumination.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you happy?” Nayeon breaks the comfortable silence between them.</p><p> </p><p>Mina faces her for a second then returns her gaze to the view in front of them. “Why? Do l look lonely?” Mina answers another question.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon sips from her wine. “The truth? Yes. You’ll not be here if not.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina lets out a bitter smile. It’s true, though. She will not go this low if she’s not lonely. But half of her was happy that she got to know Nayeon. In a very short period, Nayeon did gave her the pleasure she wants. Which is to have someone you could eat with after a very tiring day from work. Someone who can listen to your non-sense rants about how your day went so bad that you could actually feel hell. Someone who can laugh at your silly and old jokes.</p><p> </p><p>In a very short time, Nayeon made Mina feel the way she felt before everything went down.</p><p> </p><p>And Mina was thankful for that.</p><p> </p><p>“I actually feel happy whenever I got to get dinner with you after a long day from work.” Mina shifts her gaze to Nayeon whose eyes are darted on the street lights and gave the other girl a soft smile.</p><p> </p><p>There’s no point in hiding what she feels about this dinner. That’s Nayeon’s job anyway, so she just complimented her about it. “How about you? Are you happy?”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks at her and smile. “Happy I could help.” Then she clinks their glass.</p><p> </p><p>Mina knew that Nayeon’s answer isn’t true. But she doesn’t want to force Nayeon on opening up because Nayeon didn’t demand anything from her when they first met until now.</p><p> </p><p>So Mina just gave a smile and continue to savor the warmth that the cold night with Nayeon brings off.</p><p> </p><p>----</p><p> </p><p>Two months after their every night dinners, sharing stories that Mina wouldn’t think that she’ll share with someone aside from Momo, talking to each other as if they’re college lovers, here she was, staring at the girl in front of her at 3 in the morning.</p><p> </p><p>Six months ago, if someone would ask Mina how does she see herself six months from now, she would’ve answered, “at home or a bar.” Places where she could forget everything and remember it all at the same time. Forget that she is a CEO and she should manage everything well and remember that everything’s falling apart.</p><p> </p><p>But, no. That’s a very different scenario from where she is today. Sleeping next to a beautiful girl with the latter’s mouth slightly open, strands of her hair covering some parts of her face, arms on top of her waist, her breathing makes the room more comfortable and relaxing, Mina indulge herself at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t think that this day will happen again for her. That the other side of the bed where she’s sleeping will not be as cold as a dead body when she woke up. That she’ll see another face when she flips in another direction. That she will feel the warmth a person could offer.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon made her feel things again. From the way she gave Mina time to adjust from their set-up without even knowing the reason behind Mina’s loneliness, from the way Nayeon’s willingness to do every and any thing for her just to make sure she’s happy after every dinner, even quitting her job so that she can go out with Mina even without reservation from her agency. She’s aware of what is Nayeon doing it for. She like Mina. And Mina is sure that she like Nayeon too.</p><p> </p><p>Trying her best not to wake up the girl beside her, she leans gently to give a soft peck on the forehead. She fixes herself afterward, and let herself doze at the tranquility of the night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sound of brewing coffee and frying eggs is what woke Mina up. She roams her eyes around the room and met a familiar face that was hung on the wall. She smiles at herself and gets out of the bed to see that face in person.</p><p> </p><p>Mina leans by the door with her over-sized shirt and underwear and watches her as she prepares their breakfast. Her heart flutters at the sight of her pouring the newly brewed coffee into Mina’s favorite Dr. Strange mug.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi! Good morning” She greets while walking straight to the girl who’s now toasting bread for them and gives Nayeon a back hug.</p><p> </p><p>“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Nayeon greets her back and faces her with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>Mina would give everything up just to see this smile every waking morning of her life.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re drooling, Ms. <em>Myoui</em>” Nayeon snaps her daydreaming.</p><p> </p><p>“Who wouldn’t when you have a delicious breakfast in front of you?” Mina smirks at her and shifts her gaze to the toast on the table.</p><p> </p><p>“And by delicious, you mean? The toast and eggs or me?” Nayeon teases her with a coy smile.</p><p> </p><p>Mina laughs at her and sips from her coffee. “Both, Ma’am. Now sit down and eat before I eat you out early in the morning.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>It’s 3 p.m. and Mina’s day is far from over. All of these meetings, paper works, plus her secretary resigned last week, stress is eating her all over again. She hasn’t had the chance to eat lunch because her new secretary isn’t adjusting well or she just seems to have a problem with catching schedules. Mina doesn’t know but she’s not having it.</p><p> </p><p>Staring at the mountain of papers in front of her, Mina lets out a loud sigh and picks up her phone to call someone that can take away all of her stress.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Calling Nayeonie &lt;3…</em>
</p><p> </p><p>After three rings, Nayeon picks up and answers her with a sweet voice.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Hi baby, Miss me?</em>” Nayeon asks cutely.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, baby. I want to kiss you right now but I have so many things to do” Mina pouts.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Aw, I miss you too, did you eat already?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Not yet, babe. All these paper works are killing me plus my new secretary can’t seem to get what I am trying to tell her every time I’m asking her for something.” Mina complains like a child as if Nayeon will come and rescue her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Do you want me to bring you food? I have nothing to do today so I can drop by and bring you lunch and hug you. It’s three in the afternoon, Mina. That’s not healthy.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina nervously gulps. Having the thought of Nayeon coming here in her company makes her feel nauseous and anxious about what people will say if they knew about it. She isn’t ready for that to happen so Mina just declines Nayeon’s offer.</p><p> </p><p>“No baby, It’s fine. I’ll just call my new secretary and give her a list so that she can pick up my lunch at the cafeteria. Thank you, Nayeon.” <em>Lie.</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Okay, babe. Call me when you’re home. I’ll bring you dinner later, okay? Take care.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon ends the call. Mina feels bad about lying.</p><p> </p><p>She knows that Nayeon meant nothing but a concern when she offered to bring lunch to Mina. It’s just that, <em>she isn’t ready yet.</em></p><p> </p><p>She’s not ready about what people will say about them, about Nayeon. She’s not ready to explain everything to Nayeon. Not when everything is going so well between the two of them.</p><p> </p><p>For now, Mina lies. That’s all she can do, for now.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>For now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>----</p><p> </p><p>Six months had passed and Nayeon still knows nothing about Mina’s past and by past, she means Momo. Every time Mina would try to tell her about it, she just can’t stand the thought of losing her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What if she leaves me when she found out?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>What if she won’t understand me? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>What if Nayeon leaves me the way Momo did?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She might sound selfish, but she promised herself that this time, it will be her happiness. It will be her who she chooses every time. So she kept it from Nayeon up to this day.</p><p> </p><p>She was welcomed by the sound coming from the television and a faint breath coming from the girl who’s sleeping on the couch. She smiles at herself thinking that Nayeon waited for her to come home.</p><p> </p><p>She gently hugs Nayeon and the latter sleepily hugs her back.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi baby, did you eat already? I prepared dinner, sorry I dozed off. This movie was boring.” She said on Mina’s neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s eat babe, sorry for making you wait.” Mina kisses Nayeon’s forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean? I’ll wait for you every single day, Mina. I will.” Nayeon kisses her gently and stands up to go to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina tells herself.</p><p> </p><p>They’re having their dinner when Mina’s phone rings. She looks at the caller’s ID and almost chokes on her food when she saw who’s calling.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Momoring~</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s throat dries as she read the caller’s ID. She glances over Nayeon who’s scrolling on her phone while taking a bite of their dinner. She didn’t answer the call and pretends to eat though her mind wanders as she takes every bite. Her phone chimes and she received a message from her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>
      <b>Momoring~ [10:55 pm]:</b>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Emergency. Please call me back.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina excuses herself from Nayeon saying that there’s an emergency at the company. She feels bad every time she needs to lie to Nayeon. She knows Nayeon doesn’t deserve all of this but she can’t do anything. She can’t afford to lose another person and be a mess again.</p><p> </p><p>Once she settles outside her house, Mina calls Momo back. After a ring, Momo answers.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Mina</em>” Mina can’t explain what she felt when she heard Momo saying her name again after a very long time. She shakes her head and gathers her thoughts.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s so important that you need to call me at this hour, Momo?” Mina makes sure to sound annoyed for Momo to be aware that this isn’t the right time to call her.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m sorry I know it’s already late but- but I need to talk to you about something.</em>” Momo sounds so serious and down.</p><p> </p><p>Mina bites her lip thinking that this will be the talk she waited for a year and a half and thinks she’s going to get it. She’s about to answer but Momo continues what she’s saying.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Dad is sick and he’s looking for us. Mom said he’s not going to live long anymore. I know, I’m asking too much, Mina. But this will be the last time. I will not contact you ever again and after this, I’ll tell the truth to my mom. Just please, Mina. Please go with me to Japan.”</em> </p><p> </p><p>Mina doesn’t know what to say. Momo’s dad was close to her heart. He served as a father figure to Mina for very long years since her dad passed away when she was young. Declining this means disappointing him but accepting this means betraying Nayeon. She has a lot of things to say to Nayeon and if Mina will go with Momo to Japan, how would she explain this to her? She lied enough to Nayeon that sometimes she thinks that Nayeon doesn’t deserve her.</p><p> </p><p>Mina’s torn.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>My flight’s in two days. Please call me if you ever make up your mind. Please, Mina. For the last time.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Momo ends the call.</p><p> </p><p>Mina went back inside and catches Nayeon waiting for her at the living room.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, is everything okay?” Nayeon asks her with a concerned face.</p><p> </p><p>Mina feels guilty. “Yes, babe. Are you done eating?”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon stands up and walks towards her to hug her. “No, I waited for you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m sorry, Nayeon.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, let’s eat. Sorry I need to take the call.” Mina kisses her forehead as if everything will kiss away the guilt she’s feeling right now.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks up at her and smiles. “It’s okay. Priorities, Ms. CEO.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina feels like trash with what she’s doing with Nayeon. She promised herself that she will fix everything once she goes back from Japan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>
      <b>To: Hirai Momo</b>
    </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Give me the flight details. I also need to talk to you about something.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mina looks at Nayeon again.</p><p> </p><p>She hopes nothing but the best for the two of them</p><p>-</p><p>A day before Mina’s flight, she invites Nayeon for dinner so that she could tell her personally that she will be away for a week for a <em>business meeting.</em> She can’t just say that she will be away from her for a week with her ex-wife. Mina feels bad about lying, she always does tho. She doesn’t know if she’s making the right decision about all of this but she will fix all of this once she returns. </p><p> </p><p>She’s on the way to the restaurant where she made a reservation for two, feeling nervous, she calls Jihyo to tell her what will happen for the next few days. For sure, Jihyo will understand her. Besides, she’s not doing this for her or Momo. She’s doing this for Momo’s dad, for her father’s friend, for her father-in-law. She shouldn’t feel bad about this. </p><p> </p><p>But she is.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Hey, Mina. What’s up? Miss my cat memes?” </em>Jeongyeon picks up instead of Jihyo.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good, don’t need your cat memes, though. Where’s Park?” </p><p> </p><p>“<em>Oh, she left her phone and currently in a meeting. Do you want me to call her office?” </em>Jeongyeon asks.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay. No, just tell her to call me after her meeting. Thanks, Jeong.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Aight, I won’t call her, though, even if you want to. She’ll kill me so, yeah.”</em></p><p> </p><p><em>“</em>Fuck you, Yoo Jeongyeon.” Jeongyeon laughs and hangs up.</p><p> </p><p>Now, Mina’s a nervous wreck. She didn’t get the chance to re-evaluate her life decisions since she didn’t have the chance to talk to Jihyo. </p><p> </p><p>She arrives at the restaurant and sees Nayeon from afar, sitting while scrolling through her phone. Mina pulls out her phone and takes a quick snap of Nayeon looking so effortlessly beautiful in her white dress. Staring at Nayeon, she smiles and enters the restaurant. </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon spots her and subtly waves her hands for Mina to see her. She doesn’t know that for Mina, even in the middle of the crowd, she stands out the most. That Mina’s eyes lockdown on her automatically even without trying. Mina returns the wave and a few walks after, she sits down in front of her with a wide smile.</p><p> </p><p>“You look pretty.” Mina compliments her as she sits.</p><p> </p><p>“You look hot, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, and all of the nice words I could say.” Nayeon retorts with a grin. </p><p> </p><p>Mina chuckles at what Nayeon replied. “That’s very obvious of you, Miss Im.” </p><p> </p><p>“What’s the point in lying? You know how much you amaze me every day.” Nayeon genuinely smiles at her Mina felt her face blushed hard at the comment. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Nayeon really knows when and how to get me. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em>“</em>Okay, sweet talker. Let’s eat before we make out here.” Mina replies and Nayeon laughs at her.</p><p> </p><p>While eating, Mina gathers all the courage she could have to be able to lie again. She hates it. She hates that she has to do this every time, she hates that Nayeon always believes everything she says, hates that she’s breaking Nayeon’s trust without her knowing, and most importantly, hates herself that she’s doing all of this to Nayeon who didn’t do anything to make her feel less or make her feel rushed about her opening up on her past. In fact, Nayeon always makes sure that Mina feels happy and proud of herself. She never fails to make Mina redeem the confidence Nayeon didn’t know that Mina lost. Never fails to stay by her side when her dark days are coming. Mina feels so much disappointment in herself right now and just holds on to her promise that when she returns, she’ll fix this. So Mina sighs and says what she needs to say.</p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon, I’ll be out of the country next week.” For the past six months, Mina did go on some business trips maximum of three days so this is nothing new to Nayeon. But this is something to Mina since first, it is not a business trip and second, she’s with her ex-wife. </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon sips on her wine and looks at her. “Oh really? Until when?” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, maybe a week, max? I’ll be in Japan since there’s something we need to take care of.” Mina sips on her wine too, nervously gulps every sip.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, bring me some chips please~” Nayeon acts cutely and Mina just wants to cry right now. She feels so bad that she wants to slap Momo’s face for making her lie again to Nayeon. But she shouldn’t be blaming anyone for her cowardice.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” </p><p> </p><p>Mina was shocked too. She didn’t expect that she’ll say it to Nayeon in this circumstance where she feels really bad but she can’t do anything. Didn’t think that she’ll say it out of the blue that even Nayeon chokes on her food from what she had heard. Didn’t think about what will happen after she said it. She just blurted it out and she can’t take it back. </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks at her with a shocked face mirroring hers but then gently smiles after realizing what Mina said.</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina feels her tears coming down. She didn’t expect anything at all when she said it to Nayeon. But it feels so out of this world hearing it from her. Knowing that this time, she’s not the only one who felt it but it was mutual.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Mina just needed to say it so that she can still expect someone when she comes home. She has been afraid for a very long time of coming home to no one but now, Mina knows that from the moment Nayeon made her feel good, she has someone to come home to. And she’s satisfied with that.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, why are you crying? I just said I love you too, are you regretting your confession this early?” Nayeon coos her and cracks a joke so it wouldn’t be so heavy. Nayeon always knew how to calm everything.</p><p> </p><p>She hugs Nayeon and kisses her forehead “I love you, Nayeon. I love you so much.” </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon hugs her back. “I love you more, Mina.”</p><p>-</p><p>Traveling to Japan, Mina and Momo remain silent throughout their entire trip. Mina feels so uncomfortable that they sit beside each other and she can see how Momo slacks her head from sleeping, sometimes falls onto Mina’s shoulder and she would gently pat it and Momo would move fast away from her with an apology.</p><p> </p><p>She hates that every single thing that Momo does is familiar to her. The way Momo eats her food and drops it all around, the way Momo sneezes and acts like nothing happened, the way Momo drops her phone because of her small hands. Every little thing Momo does reminds her of how they were before and Mina just grits her teeth from annoyance remembering how did Momo leave her without saying anything. She looks at the girl beside her with no feelings but anger, she deserves an explanation. An acceptable reason on why did she just leave her as if ten years was nothing but a simple year for her. As if everything was nothing for her.</p><p> </p><p>Arriving in Japan, Mina makes sure to draw a line clearly for Momo to see. She doesn’t want any misunderstanding about the situation they have to rise in the future. She’s clear to herself that she loves Nayeon and not Momo.</p><p> </p><p>She loves Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p>But she lied.</p><p> </p><p>She sent Nayeon a picture of her before boarding and after they have arrived. Nayeon sends her random pictures like walking her dog, watching random youtube videos, and all the random things she can send in two hours. Nayeon reminds her to eat on time since she’s not there to prepare Mina’s food. Reminds her to charge her phone before sleeping so she’ll not run out of battery in the morning. Reminds her to take care and don’t stress herself too much.</p><p> </p><p>Mina reminds herself to fix everything as soon as possible because Nayeon doesn’t deserve this. She wants to be someone who can make Nayeon happy and who can be genuinely true about herself because Nayeon deserves honesty and nothing but pureness. She can’t wait to finish all of this bullshit so she can come home to her.</p><p> </p><p>To her home.</p><p> </p><p>Soon, Nayeon. Soon. I hope you can wait.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to eat first before we go?” Momo asks her while looking at a restaurant for them to eat.</p><p> </p><p>Mina shook her head and pass by Momo. “No, I’m good. Let’s just go there as quick as possible.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo follows her quietly and didn’t talk to her on their way to Momo’s family house.</p><p> </p><p>Upon their arrival, Momo’s mom hugs Mina tightly saying that she misses her so much and she hasn’t called her like she used to before. Mina apologizes saying she’s been busy with the company and other things. She looks over Momo who looks at her apologetically. After their hello’s and how are you’s, Momo’s mom escorts them to Momo’s dad’s room. Her mother-in-law kept on saying that he keeps on looking and asking for Mina ever since he gets bed-ridden.</p><p> </p><p>As soon as they enter the room, Momo’s father’s face lights up when he saw her daughter and Mina. Mina bows at him and hugs him.</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Hirai hugs him back. “Minari. I’ve missed you, my daughter. How have you been? Does Momo stresses you out?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina chuckles a little pretending to be happy about what she heard. “Missed you too, dad. I’ve been good these days thankfully your daughter doesn’t give me stress anymore.” She answers truthfully.</p><p> </p><p>Mr. Hirai smiles at her and looks over at Momo who’s standing behind Mina. “Welcome back, my daughter. Be good to your wife every day, okay? You’ll never know what will happen to you the next day so be sure to always love her since the day you’ve met.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo just smiles at him and glances over Mina who seems to be uncomfortable about what Momo’s father had said. So she excused herself and Mina saying that they will rest first before eating dinner.</p><p> </p><p>Mina and Momo proceed to the room they will be using together for a week. It was still the same room they used to share before and Momo feels bad about all of this but she doesn’t have much choice left. She offers to just sleep on the couch and let Mina sleep on the bed which Mina agrees on. Mina unpacks her things as well as Momo and they notice that the room has only one cabinet so they will put their things together. For Mina, it really doesn’t matter but Momo still asked her.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay with putting my things there too?” Momo gently asks her.</p><p> </p><p>Mina scoffs at her. “What’s with you being suddenly considerate today? Did you eat something bad?” Mina remarks.</p><p> </p><p>Momo looks away and sighs. “I’m sorry, I just thought you’ll be uncomfortable with this whole sharing things together.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am. But I’m not doing this for you so you don’t have to feel indebted to me. I’m doing this for your father so stop acting as if you care about my feelings, Momo” Mina replies sharply.</p><p> </p><p>Momo can’t find the words to reply so she just quietly leave the room and left Mina.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>During dinner, Momo’s parents insist on having them together for a month which Mina quickly rejects saying she has to look after the company since it hasn’t been doing well for the past months and just regain its productivity two months ago. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, mother. But I think I can’t stay here too long. Maybe Momo can, right Mo?” She looks at Momo asking her to save her ass.</p><p> </p><p>Momo nods at her mother. “Yes, mom. Mina’s hands are full but I can stay for a month. I can work from home, though.” </p><p> </p><p>Momo’s mother nods and her father suddenly asks them a question that makes Momo chokes on her food and Mina freezes. “You’re married for already ten years, right? Don’t you have any plans to have a baby? Mina? Momo?”</p><p> </p><p>Momo and Mina share a look at each other and contemplating who will answer the question and when Momo gets Mina’s eyes, she answers quickly. “We’re thinking, dad. But you know, we’re really busy with that right now. Babies can wait, right love?”</p><p> </p><p>Love.</p><p> </p><p>Mina remembers Nayeon. </p><p> </p><p>The way she looks after Mina every day, making sure she eats her food on time, making sure she wears her suits without wrinkles, checks up on her every time she has free time, making sure she feels good about herself, complimenting everything she does even the smallest thing, appreciating the smallest thing Mina will do for her. </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon will make a good wife and mother. She’s everything a child and a partner could ask for. Mina’s very lucky and she wouldn’t lose this chance to have Nayeon forever.</p><p> </p><p>“Mina?” Mr. Hirai cuts her thoughts and she flinches a little. “Are you okay, darling?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina composes herself. “Yes, dad. Just tired.” </p><p> </p><p>“You should rest after dinner.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina just smiles at them. She can’t wait to call Nayeon as soon as this dinner ends.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>“<em>You know what babe, I just thought of something.</em>” Mina’s on a call with Nayeon right now. After dinner, she quickly excused herself saying that she needs to get asleep and her in-laws agreed to her because she looks so tired. She’s not. She just misses Nayeon so much.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it?” Mina asks. </p><p> </p><p>“<em>We’re like cocoa and marshmallows,” </em>Nayeon says with a serious tone that makes Mina scoff.</p><p> </p><p>“Cocoa and marshmallows? Why?”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon changes her voice into something seductive. “<em>You’re hot and I’m on top.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina laughs so much at the pickup line Nayeon came up with. This is just one of Nayeon’s random lines every time they are talking and it never fails to make Mina a laughing idiot each time she will hear it. Mina loves the dorky side of Nayeon because it makes her feel more homely and comfortable. Nayeon knows how to crack it whenever she’s stressed due to work duties. </p><p> </p><p>“I thought you’re a bottom, babe.” </p><p> </p><p>Nayeon exaggeratedly gasps “<em>Excuse me? You do nothing every time, Myoui. So you don’t have any say. Understood?</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Mina chuckles at Nayeon’s frame of mind. “Okay, Ma’am. Anyway, tell me about your day. I missed you so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Aw my baby missed me so much, I missed you too. Well, I walked Kookeu around 4 pm and he met Sana’s dog. He’s very aggressive and Kookeu was so calm so they didn’t jive that much. What’s his name again, Bi-br-BOO! Boo! His name’s Boo. Very aggressive dog, and Kookeu was a bit hesitant to play with him so after walking, we went to the cafe and went home after.” </em>Nayeon tells what happened about her day and Mina enjoys listening about it.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know Sana has a dog. She looks like she’s not capable of taking care of someone who breathes.” Mina jokes and Nayeon lets out a giggle.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Rude, babe. It’s not hers, it’s her girlfriend’s dog. She said her girlfriend went to their hometown because of an emergency and she’s left with the dog so she needs to take care of it.” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh, Sana has a girlfriend?” Mina asks nervously. Hoping that she’s mistaken and her feeling’s wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah, babe. You should meet her someday. She’s also Japanese so I think both of you will get along. Her name’s Momo if I’m not mistaken.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina didn’t answer. That’s why the dog’s name was very familiar. Mina can’t believe it. Mina can’t believe that the person who brought Nayeon into her life was also the same person who was the reason she has to live her life for a year full of doubt, full of suffering, and also the reason why she was alone that night in that club. Mina clenches her fist, remembering the days she felt so stupid thinking Momo would never do that to her until she saw it with her own eyes. She’s feeling it all over again. She feels dumb. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why it has to be Sana? Why it has to be her of all people? Did she intentionally approach me that night because she knew me? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Nayeon on the other line cuts her running thoughts by calling her name over and over again. “<em>Mina? Babe? You still there?”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Mina doesn’t know what to say. She inhales and exhales slowly. She needs to calm down. Nayeon must not know all of this. “Yes, babe. Sorry, I’m just tired. Can I rest now? I need to be up tomorrow early in the morning.” Mina lies again.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Yeah sure, babe. Good night and sleep well. Dream of me, m’kay? I love you, Mina. I’ll wait for you.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>She’s feeling it again. That guilt feeling she continuously ignores but keeps on coming back. Feeling bad, Mina still replies. “Of course, babe. I love you more, Nayeon.”</p><p> </p><p>And the call ended. </p><p> </p><p>But Mina’s thoughts didn’t.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p>It has been three days since Mina knew about Momo and Sana. </p><p> </p><p>Three days since she contacted Nayeon. </p><p> </p><p>Three days since her mind won’t let her sleep and constantly think about the why’s, the what if’s, and the how’s she wanted to ask Momo. </p><p> </p><p>She thought that not having a formal talk or closure or whatever the fuck you want to call it will be fine for her because after she met Nayeon, she didn’t think about how Momo left her. How Momo suddenly disappear from her life when yesterday, they were just sharing everything then the next day, it was all hers. Alone. No one to share everything with. But after hearing Nayeon, after learning that Sana was the reason why she lost the girl she loved ever since she knew how to, she lost the girl she dreamed of being with forever, the girl she thought will stay with her through ups and downs, through thick and thin, she lost the girl who she wanted to build a family with, she felt enraged. But, she met Nayeon because of Sana. </p><p> </p><p>She met Nayeon when all she did was breathe and not live. She met Nayeon and all of a sudden, all the pain that Momo caused was taken away by Nayeon’s smile, by Nayeon’s warmth, by Nayeon. Nayeon, who made her feel secure after a year of doubting. Nayeon, who didn’t put any pressure on her and just enjoyed being with her every time they got a chance to be together. She wants to live and create a better life but not with Momo, but with Nayeon. She wants to have a family, she wants to wake up every morning with Nayeon. Eat every meal with Nayeon. Bring her to every restaurant and have the best dinner dates with Nayeon. </p><p> </p><p>And that’s when Mina realized that she needs to end everything clearly with Momo to start a new life with Nayeon who doesn’t deserve everything but the greatest things in life. And Mina wants to be the one to give it to her. Getting up from bed, she fixes herself and leaves the room to find Momo.</p><p> </p><p>She found Momo outside, sitting on one of the benches they used to hang out in when they were in high school. Sipping from her coffee, Momo notices her and gives space for where she can sit. Mina walks to her and sits beside her.</p><p> </p><p>The atmosphere is silent but not awkward. Maybe Momo didn’t want silence so she speaks. “We used to talk about all the things we find interesting here. Remember?” Momo shifts her gaze to Mina.</p><p> </p><p>Mina looks down and smiles bitterly. “Of course. We talked about everything, from the smallest to the biggest issues we had. We talked about all of it until we don’t.” </p><p> </p><p>Momo looks away, eyes starting to feel wet. “I’m sorry, Mina. I know I have a lot of things to say, to explain.”</p><p> </p><p>“You knew, yet you didn’t.” Mina looks at her.</p><p> </p><p>Momo straightens her posture and faces Mina. “I- I don’t know how to tell you. At first, I thought- I thought you would feel it when I made changes in my behavior. I thought you would notice how I constantly forget dinner night which we used to do every week despite being busy, when I didn’t wear my wedding ring for a week, when I always came home late and drunk. I thought you would have the idea of me not feeling the same anymore. But you didn’t say anything and ignored all of it. I don’t know how to tell you that one day, I just woke up and I didn’t felt the same love for you anymore. I’m not happy anymore. When you saw me with- with her, I know I should’ve explained things but I didn’t. I was afraid to accept it all that time. That my cowardice led me to cheat on you. When I left, I thought it was okay for you too. You didn’t tell me to go home, you didn’t put up a fight, you didn’t ask me to fix us. So I thought that you did felt the same towards me. You didn’t ask for an explanation, you just let me leave you. So I left.” Momo looks away, this time, tears are flowing down.</p><p> </p><p>Mina didn’t even bother to hold back her tears. For a year, she yearned for this. She yearned for Momo to explain things to her. How did it end up from them being each other’s apple of the eye, each other’s firsts, each other’s rock, each other’s world, to being two individuals tolerating each other’s existence? </p><p> </p><p>Mina wipes her tears. “Every day, every day I waited for you, Momo. I waited for the day when you’re ready and you’ll appear in front of our house to explain what happened to us. To tell me everything that you’re feeling. Every day I waited for the day where you would gather the courage that you need to face me again. I waited until I didn’t. I wanted to wait but I realized that if you really wanted to make things clear, you would. Because that’s you, Momo. You wanted everything to be clear so that there’s no misunderstanding.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina remembered how Momo used to talk to her about everything they find uncomfortable about each other. Used to tell her directly if she felt bad about certain things. Momo used to love communicating with each other because she didn’t want untold words to affect their relationship so much.</p><p> </p><p>“But you did not. You did not, Momo. So I need to comfort myself, I need to convince myself that I don’t need your explanation because I get tired of waiting.” Mina continues and Momo doesn’t know what to say. She cries hard, hard enough to make Mina hug her. “I, too, woke up one day and realized that I don’t love you anymore. The only difference is that we didn’t meet halfway. You left me long before I realized everything, and I left myself too, my old self. I needed to move on and I did.”</p><p> </p><p>Momo hugs her back, crying her heart out. “I’m sorry, Mina. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re forgiven, Momo. Please, forgive yourself too.” </p><p> </p><p>Mina kisses her on her temple and stands up and leave Momo behind. She’s done with what she needs to finish here. She should return and make things right.</p><p>--</p><p>Mina’s standing in front of Nayeon’s apartment. Gathering all the bravery she needs to be able to explain everything to Nayeon. She’s not sure where would this lead her but she can’t lie forever to Nayeon. She doesn’t deserve that. She takes a deep breath and knocks.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon opens the door with her morning look and a shocked face. She didn’t tell her that she would be back early as said so Nayeon is clearly surprised to see her today.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi” Mina smiles and runs towards her and hug her.</p><p> </p><p>“I missed you. You didn’t call me.” Nayeon says and lets go of the hug.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. Nayeon, can we talk?” Mina finally blurts it out.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course. Come in.” Nayeon lets her in and once they settled, Mina faces her.</p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon, I have something to say to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you sound so serious? Are you okay? Is there anything I can help with?” Nayeon asks successively with a concerned face while holding her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“Nayeon, I’m married.”</p><p> </p><p>There it was. The face Mina fears to see is in front of her. She can’t take it back and she needs to continue what she had started.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon lets go of her hand, dumbfounded with what she heard. She stares at Mina not knowing what to say about what she found out.</p><p> </p><p>“I am married for 10 years. I still am married but we separated a year ago and when I met you we’re not together anymore. I know I should’ve said this to you from the very start, it’s just that I don’t know how would you react and I’m afraid that you’ll leave me once you knew about all of this.” Mina holds Nayeon’s hands but Nayeon didn’t hold a grip on them.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon remained silent. She can’t still pick up the words to tell. She looks at Mina, tried to open her mouth but no words came out.</p><p> </p><p>“When I told you last week that I will be going to Japan for a business trip, that was also a lie. I am with her because her father was ill and we haven’t told her family yet about us. Nayeon, I am so sorry. Please. Please say something.” Mina pleads her as tears fall on her face.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon feels so numb. She doesn’t know what to feel. Thoughts aren’t sinking in so she just said “Why? Why did you parted ways?”</p><p> </p><p>Mina was obviously surprised at what Nayeon replied but manage to compose herself. She sits straight and held Nayeon’s hand tighter. “A year ago, I caught her cheating on me. After that, she didn’t say anything. She didn’t go home, no explanation, no anything. And when we talked last time, I learned that she’s cheating on me, with Sana.” Mina sighs. “Yesterday, we talked before I booked my flight going back here. We talked about the unsaid things that we failed to tell each other, and I swear Nayeon, I wanted to make things right so I can have you with me forever.”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon scoffs and withdraws her hand from Mina. “With Sana? You’re married to Momo? Why didn’t you tell me? Is that the reason why Sana gave me to you? So I can fix you and you can break me like this?” Nayeon’s slowly getting her thoughts into words. “Mina, did you think that my love for you was shallow, for you to think that I would never accept you if I knew you were married? I am very transparent with you, Mina!” Nayeon’s voice begun to rise. “You saw me when I was working for you at the agency, you saw and knew everything about me, Mina. Is it really hard for you? To be honest? Is that the reason why every time we’re going out, you’re very careful and uncomfortable? That you always look like someone who snitched out with her mistress? Because I am one, huh? I am one and I didn’t even know. Wow, Mina.”</p><p> </p><p>Mina cries. Everything that Nayeon said was right. She’s so petty for thinking that Nayeon would leave her just like what Momo did when they are very different from each other. When all Nayeon wished for her was just to be happy and nothing else.</p><p> </p><p>Mina approaches Nayeon but she refuses to be touched. “No, Nayeon. I just found out that Momo cheated with Sana. I didn’t know anything about that. I’m sorry if you think that I thought your love was shallow. No, Nayeon. I never did. It’s just that, I can’t have the courage to tell you all of this because I’m afraid someone will leave me again without saying anything. I’m sorry, Nayeon.”</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon looks at her, enraged and disappointed. “You’re afraid someone will leave you again? You’re afraid I will leave you so you just lied about all of this and pretended that everything was fine? You were also lied to, Mina! You were cheated on! Yet you did lie to me? Is it really that hard for you to be honest with me, Mina?” Nayeon's knees weaken as she asks Mina those words. “Yes, you met me when I was a call girl, Mina. You met me and knew everything about me even the things I can’t even talk about with someone else. I’ve shared it with you thinking that you’ll open up to me too because even though you’re not saying anything I knew you were troubled. But I didn’t think you will lie like this to me, Mina. I don’t deserve this. I am once a call girl but that doesn’t give you the right to make me your mistress without me knowing anything at all. You’re so selfish, Mina.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you. I love you so much. I want to be with you forever. I’m sorry. I am so sorry Nayeon. Let me make things right this time. Please, please don’t leave me. Please.” Mina kneels and pleads, crying her heart out to Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p>Nayeon can’t look at Mina. She should feel disheartened about what she’s hearing right now. She doesn’t deserve this. Nayeon knows.</p><p> </p><p>“No, Mina. You don’t love me. You loved my company, the warmth I gave you when you were alone and cold, the presence I gave every time you don’t have anyone by your side. You don’t love me, Mina. Because if you really do, you will be honest with me no matter how hard is for you to tell me the things I deserve to know. That’s love, Mina. Love is courageous and you’re a coward. A selfish coward.” Nayeon bursts out with pain and storms off her house.</p><p> </p><p>And then it hits Mina.</p><p> </p><p>She always thought that Nayeon will leave her as Momo did. She always thought that once Nayeon knew all of this mess she has, Nayeon wouldn’t settle with her. She’s always afraid that every move she does will cause Nayeon to just disappear and Mina wasn’t ready for that. Will never be ready for that. She thought nothing but Nayeon becoming Momo not realizing that she did to Nayeon what Momo did to her. Lied to her, didn’t call her for days without saying anything, making her feel unimportant when all Nayeon did was to make her like she’s everything in the world. Hurt Nayeon when all Nayeon did was to love her unconditionally. Even waited for her to open up not expecting anything. But she didn’t think any of that because she is a coward.</p><p> </p><p>Just like Momo.</p><p> </p><p>They are different and nothing but the same.</p><p> </p><p>Momo didn’t love her anymore so she hurt Mina.</p><p> </p><p>Mina loves Nayeon so much that she hurt Nayeon.</p><p> </p><p>Love is courageous, and Mina is a coward.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! This is my very first angst so I hope I gave justice to it. I would love to hear your thoughts after so feel free to comment! </p><p>Thank you guys for reading and thank you to my ever-supportive friend @nojambrossuckers! You guys should read her stories too! A masterpiece!</p><p>Thanks!</p><p>-GreatEscape xoxo</p></blockquote></div></div>
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